Preston Grissom

Student’s Choice #4

The Guilt of Joy

            In the movie Shadowlands C.S. Lewis gets surprised by Joy.  She surprises him because he does not think that a woman like her exists and even more he does not believe that he needs a woman at all.  He comes to find out that she is the fulfillment of what he has been searching for and never knew it.  She surprises him because she teaches him a lesson he thought he learned already.  Before Jesus captured Lewis he did not know that he needed him.  Upon receiving him Lewis saw that he really needed him the whole time.  The same is true for Joy.

            When Joy is in the house after returning from the hospital she gets sick again.  She says to him, “I’m sorry Jack.”  The words themselves do not convey what she is actually saying.  The language conveys her feelings, which then gave life to the reality of the sickness.  Her language shows her deep disappointment for Jack.  He hears “I’m sorry” but knows the implications.  He now has a woman who deeply knows and loves him and she has to leave.  Her saying “I’m sorry” shows her deep longing to be with him that no other words could say.  They go deeper than saying “I hate that I am sick.”  What she is really saying is “I hate that I am dying because it means I am leaving you.”  The fact that leaving him is the source of her pain shows that her love for him was greater than her hatred and pain of death. 

Many people have said they would give up their lives for a loved one.  I personally have said that.  But honestly until I came to a peace about my situation after death I might have impulsively died for another but I would not delight in it.  Now I know that death is real and the pain of loss is great.  The tomb of Lazarus taught me that.  Lewis and Joy are a beautiful depiction of the hard work and dedication love deserves.  It is not a feeling to get swept up in as much as it is a beautifully growing garden that needs pruning and watering.